Recently, I was deeply offended by someone very close to me, I’d only refer to as Charlie here. Deeply hurt, I was disoriented by the intensity of the pain. Little did I realize that I was a time bomb waiting to explode! Even if the discharge wouldn’t be cataclysmic, it would be an explosion all the same.
At a later bright and sunny day, a quick phone call, and an equally short conversation, began another one of life’s messy situations we’d all rather avoid. In a calm exchange, I made an acidic remark that would even make a skunk smell great.
This only became obvious to me after I had gone back to replay what emerged out of my lips into the delicate ears of someone I cared deeply about.
The most revealing of this is, I was going on merrily in life like a dream, and totally oblivious of the damage until he made reference to my words and the incident.
At this not-too-long later day, Charlie reminded me of my ‘uncaring’ words. Words that pierced and violated a deep sense of security, worthiness and belonging. This influenced his wrong conclusion leading to a behavior commensurate with defiance, a fierce show of stifling hardheaded isolation, and a pungent attitude of defensiveness he aptly labeled as “protection”.
How could this be? How did I so blow this?
Now I know how easily it happened.
For the short time that I allowed myself to stew in my own hurt and disconnected myself from the life of God, I reverted to an ‘old nature’, that tamed monster long quarantined, but eager to rare its ugly head the slightest chance it gets!
Before long my understanding was darkened and my reasoning was severely clouded. Straying ever so slightly, my words were laden with cyanide, and I had poisoned the hearer.
What an eye-opener!
Disconnected from the life of God, ANYONE – Christian or not – will have a DARKENED MORAL UNDERSTANDING and a CLOUDED REASONING.
Simply put, I walked away from God and had a darkened judgement and impaired reasoning.
In this state, I was poised to do damage to anyone, most especially the one I perceive to have offended me. Hurt people do, indeed hurt people. Without completely resolving my own emotional baggage, I had inadvertently and predictably hurt Charlie and was not even aware of it.
Had I not quickly remedied this, I would have had a hardening of heart and a deep-seated ignorance to formulate further actions resulting in a repulsive habit over time, and an ugly miserable life!
My ego got the best of me when I blurted out words I probably wouldn’t have in my guarded moments. My Green Zone
was inadequately fortified. I’m not blaming anyone but me. I was irresponsible! I blew it.
This is how we mess things up! That is how I lost it.
But I’m glad I took the responsibility not to stay on that dangerous course.
Now I know, we have ENLIGHTENED MORAL UNDERSTANDING and an UNCLOUDED REASONING, ONLY as long we are CONNECTED to the LIFE of God.
This means good judgement and clear thinking, ONLY comes from God the Author of life!
It is therefore imperative to be CONSTANTLY CONNECTED To the LIFE of God , IF we want that monster to stay quarantined.
My life now is burden-free as far as the relationship between my ‘offender’ and I goes.
As for Charlie’s initial ‘deep offense’, while inexcusable and still very wrong, I have forgiven him. It is really not my responsibility what he decides to do about that. I have done what I am responsible for, and my conscious decision reflects what I desire in my life!
Well, how about you?
How have you lost your cool lately?